How to Outsmart Feeling Stuck and Do It Anyway

For as much as I get done in a day (and it’s a lot!), I’m in constant negotiation with this feeling of being stuck. When I say “stuck,” I mean that I know what I need or want to do, but instead of just doing it, I find a whole mess of excuses why it can wait until tomorrow, next week, or even next year. It usually comes around when I’m on the verge of taking a risk or being exposed, or when I get caught up caring about what other people will think.

That last one is big – worrying what other people think. It trips me up more than I care to admit because, like everyone else, I am so conditioned to filter what I want for my life through other people’s limited understanding. So, I procrastinate. Make excuses. Create a distraction and put it off until tomorrow. 

It comes knocking when I put off this very real desire for change for too long. It stirs me deeply and whispers in my ear, now is the time. Cue the stomach ache and low-grade dread. Cue the jumbo bag of chips and a few House Hunters episodes to help me forget. Or impulse buying on Amazon is more your thing. On Friday, it looked like sitting in the grocery store parking lot scrolling social media for 45 minutes because I had a big decision that felt risky, and I simply didn’t want to make it. 

The world offers up an endless selection of distractions that help prolong our actions around the work we need and want to do. Perhaps it’s a conversation that needs to occur, or simply getting up the nerve to say hello in the school parking lot or at the gym. Maybe it’s applying for that Master’s Program you’ve wanted to do since college. Or finally quitting the job that hasn’t been a fit for the last five years, and pivoting to a new career entirely. 

Whatever the desire, big or small, we are masters of distraction. And yet some among us appear to be born without this affliction. Those who say they will, and then they do. We love them and loathe their discipline in equal measure. We tell ourselves they have special powers, special bank accounts, and unique connections that give them an advantage. 

But do they?

As a constant student of life, I’ve spent a reasonable amount of time observing successful people who seem to be the exception to this paralyzing default. It turns out they have it, too. But they’ve just figured out how to ignore it, work around it, and, do it anyway. 

What I’ve gleaned from these folks is a very tidy three-step practice. It’s not foolproof, of course, because there is a human involved, but more often than not, it tricks my fear and resistance into looking the other way, while I slip past and move into action around the things I want the most.

Get Quiet and Get Clear 

This seems counter-intuitive since taking action seems like the logical first step, but it’s essential to clearly and precisely define what we want before action can be taken. Maybe it’s going from a five-day to a four-day workweek. Maybe it’s taking a class at the community college, or asking to be considered for the management position. Maybe it’s taking July off every year to spend summer break with the kids, or spending Sundays on a hillside painting because painting is what feels good. Whatever it is, name it in simple terms and then write it down. 

Once it’s written down, name the potential roadblocks. You might find that YOU are the only thing that makes it on this list section. But it also could be a whole bunch of other things. No judgment on this part, just put down what seems like the most likely things to derail this endeavor. 

And then, lastly for this exercise, describe the outcome you’re hoping for. How will it feel to have done it or to do it regularly? Who will be there? What does it look like? This is a really important part, not to be missed, because it puts color into the picture, and helps it feel like it's already true, which is an incredibly powerful place to tap into. 

Small Steps

Once you get quiet and focused, the first step in the right direction comes forward. All you need is the first one. If you’re like me, I never think it’s as simple as just one first step. I love to look at the finish line and spend time strategizing how to skip the in-between steps. I’m here to tell you what you already know – it rarely works that way. 

The only way to get across that line is to begin with the first small step, then the next small step, and then another. Don’t worry about tomorrow’s leg of the race, just focus on today, and this one step that needs doing. This is the biggest game changer, because focusing on just one thing at a time, very quickly creates real progress, and from that comes actual flow, which is a fancy way of saying you've got momentum. 

Keep Moving

What happens when you've got momentum? You just keep moving. That’s the law of inertia – an object in motion stays in motion. Yes, some roadblock might present itself without warning. Yes, there will be days when you have to detour or retrace steps. Yes, some days you won’t feel like it. But those won’t be the norm when you just keep moving. Just keep moving. Keep moving. Keep moving in small and kind ways. It’s all you have to do. Then, one day, you wake up and are on the threshold of what you want the most. 

I would have loved to come on here today and break all the rules with some new way to hack getting unstuck, but here's the beauty about these kinds of things - the solution is simple, and we all have access to it. This isn't stuff reserved for special people with superpower discipline, but if you take one small step at a time, someday soon it will look like your superpower belongs to you.